So, I am a happy, giving bottom and always have been. I discovered early that I have a natural talent for taking it long and hard. But lately, I have found that I am no longer that tight ‘back there’, and sometimes I even get little leaks in my underwear, which is really gross, right? I have tried not to have sex to have everything sort of tighten back up, but I am really not good at not having sex for longer periods of time! I told you, I am really good at it bottoming! So what can I do since not having sex is obviously not happening?


You can compare your sphincter to a rubber band–the more you stretch it, the looser it gets. And if your sphincter loses some of its elasticity, it can be hard for it to serve its primary purpose: to keep your ass shut! You can do something to regain the elasticity with kegel exercises: tighten your anus like when you are stopping the flow of urine, hold the tension for a few seconds and release. Normally, you only need to do them for a few minutes a day, but in your case, I suggest you start a little exercise program for about 10-15 minutes a day. The good thing about these exercises is that you can do them without anybody else knowing it–just like Samantha in Sex and the City when she goes “I’m doing mine right now” mid-brunch and mid-conversation. All kidding aside, you need to do something to regain some strength back there, because the alternative is that you will have more than just leaks in your underwear, and eventually, you will need to have a more extensive surgery, and no matter how much you like having someone enter you, that is not going to be a pleasant experience. So start clenching!