By Cator Sparks, Life Coach

A Mental Health Guide for Queer Folks

The holiday season brings joy, connection, and celebration—but for many of us, it can also trigger stress, anxiety, and complicated emotions. Whether navigating family dynamics, dealing with rejection, or simply feeling the weight of expectations, protecting your mental health during this time is essential.

The holidays often mean returning to environments where you may not feel fully accepted or understood. Old family patterns can resurface, and the pressure to present a certain version of yourself can be exhausting. Add seasonal stress, financial pressure, and the cultural emphasis on “perfect” family gatherings, and it’s no wonder this time of year can feel overwhelming.

Here are five strategies to help you prioritize your mental health this holiday season:

Set Clear Boundaries You don’t owe anyone unlimited access to your time or energy. Decide in advance what topics are off-limits, how long you’ll stay at gatherings, and what behaviors you won’t tolerate. Practice phrases like “I’d rather not discuss that” or “I need to leave now, but thanks for having me.” Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re acts of self-respect.

Build Your Chosen Family Time Make plans with friends and chosen family who celebrate and support you fully. Whether it’s a Friendsgiving dinner, a holiday movie night, or just coffee with someone who gets you, these connections can be the emotional anchor you need. Don’t wait for invitations—create the gatherings you want to attend.

Have an Exit Strategy Before attending potentially problematic family events, plan how you’ll take care of yourself. Bring your own car so you can leave when needed. Identify a supportive friend you can call or text. Book a hotel room instead of staying with family. Knowing you have options reduces anxiety and gives you back control.

Practice Self-Compassion If things don’t go as planned, be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or disappointed. It’s OK to cry, to need space, or to skip events entirely. Your feelings are valid, and taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Seek Professional Support If the holidays consistently trigger depression or anxiety, consider talking to a therapist/coach who understands LGBTQ+ experiences. Many therapists offer flexible scheduling around the holidays, and telehealth makes support more accessible than ever. I am here to help!

Remember: You deserve peace, joy, and acceptance during the holidays—and every day. Protecting your mental health isn’t just survival; it’s an act of self-love.