By Mikkel Hyldebrandt
In the beginning of September, Body Electric will be facilitating a multi-day workshop called “Celebrating the Body Erotic” for all men, including non-binary, trans, intersex, and two-spirited people of all sexual orientations and gender expressions who feel belonging in men’s spaces. We spoke to Ben Lewis, who coordinates events for Body Electric in the Atlanta area, about what to expect and what it means to participate.
First, let us know a little bit about the Body Electric event?
Unfortunately, I can’t take credit for the idea. TheBody Electric School teaches a range of erotic workshops around the world, and Celebrating the Body Erotic (the workshop that we’re teaching here in September) is our most popular of these classes. This is a workshop that helps people reconnect with pleasure, rediscover their own erotic energy, get back in touch with themselves, and practice making connections with other people in a safe and supportive container.
Celebrating the Body Erotic was developed in San Francisco in the 1980s by a man named Joseph Kramer. Remember, this was the early days of the AIDS crisis when so many people were dying every day, and the community (especially the gay male community) was terrified of touching each other. Joseph was a massage therapist who had also studied to become a priest, and he combined his knowledge of massage and his desire to serve others to teach this method of healing touch, initially to gay men.
Over the years, the school has expanded, and today, we offer this and other workshops in variations for women and for all genders, as well as for a wide variety of different affinity groups. But the workshop that we’re teaching here in September is specifically for men.
By the way, the school is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization and is celebrating its 40th anniversary this year!
Why do you think an event like this is important and needed today?
We live in a world where we can search for an anonymous hookup nearby using our phones, and then swipe left on someone without ever talking to him, based on a short description and a thumbnail image that’s a few hundred pixels, max. For all the good things that technology has brought to us, we’ve lost the ability to connect with the real human people around us. This workshop is an invitation to reset that and get to know actual 3D people in real time.
In addition, there’s a deep kind of emotional or spiritual healing that’s tied in with physical touch. We know that touch is one of our basic primal human needs, yet we convince ourselves that we don’t need it to survive and can get by without it. Then, when we finally get to experience touch from a nurturing person in a warm and compassionate way, we’re often overcome by the sensation. It’s very common for people in this workshop to have big emotional reactions because they don’t realize just how touch-deprived they are and how badly they need this.
Why do you think that people are limited in their sexuality and desires today?
Honestly, as children, I think most of us grew up with a big mystery around sex, knowing that it was something big and important but having no idea what it meant. We were taught that it was taboo, that we didn’t talk about those body parts, and our parents would cover our eyes if something sexual came on TV. Except they didn’t call it sexual, they called it “dirty.” Then when we hit puberty and discovered what an orgasm felt like… well, that was it, wasn’t it? We spent the next few decades chasing that feeling, but somewhere along the way we forgot how to be curious and to explore and imagine and play. And eventually, for so many of us, sex lost its lustre.
The event obviously focuses on sensual and erotic aspects. How do you convey that message so that participants won’t expect a full-on sex party?
So many people think this is an orgy! Whenever I’m talking to people, I’m very up-front and just tell them that this is not an orgy, not a happy ending, not a circle jerk. We use breathwork and movement and guided touch to explore what it means to be an erotic being. Someone told me that this course is hands-on and clothes-off*, and that’s a good description! But really, this workshop is an invitation to rethink pleasure in a way you probably haven’t done since you were a teenager.
*And if you don’t want to be fully naked, you don’t have to be.
Say, you’re part of the event and you get aroused – is that okay?
Sure it is! I will say that that erections are not the point of the workshop. You don’t need one to do anything that we do, and you won’t miss a thing if you go all weekend without it. But you know some folks are more responsive than others, and… well, an erection isn’t a bad thing!
I’m sure consent and boundaries are extremely important in this setting – how do you enforce and encourage this?
Absolutely you’re right. One of the first things that we do in every workshop is to practice setting and holding boundaries. So many of us are encouraged not to say no in the interest of “being nice.” Or other people never learn to say yes because of confidence issues or low self-esteem. So right out of the gate, we practice making requests of each other, and we practice saying both yes and no. And throughout the weekend, we’ll encourage you to give an honest yes or no to everything that happens — even the things we ask you to do! Personally, I hope you’ll say yes to everything, but if something truly makes you uncomfortable, then we encourage you to opt out.
We also reserve a corner of the room as a place of refuge, where you can step out of the action and regroup yourself, for whatever reason. You’re still in the room and you can watch whatever’s going on, and you’re welcome to rejoin the group whenever you’re ready.
What is something that you have learned about yourself during a Body Electric event?
I learned how to be spiritual, which feels like a weird thing to say because I never thought of myself as a spiritual person. As long as I had a job and could pay my bills, I figured that was all there was to life, right? But after I started getting in touch with my body, I learned that the body and the spirit are intertwined in a way I never really understood or appreciated. I learned just how important it is to tend to your spirit, and I learned that physical joy is an amazing way to do that.
What do you hope that participants will take away from this event?
I hope they’ll learn how to say both no AND yes. I want them to remember what it’s like to feel joy, and to get a better sense of who they are and what makes them truly happy. I want them to feel like a kid again. I want them to have the kind of transformative experience that I had in my first workshop, and to leave with a new feeling of confidence. And if they find themselves healing old wounds in the process, so much the better.
How can participants prepare for this event?
Start to think of ways to begin waking up your body. Move. Stretch. Dance. Do yoga or go for a hike. Practice walking in the world like the sexy beast you are. Develop a swagger! Also, spend some time thinking about your intention in taking this workshop. What do you think is missing from your life? What is it that you want to learn about yourself, or heal, or grow? (But we’ll also send you a detailed list of what to bring and how to prepare as the workshop draws closer.)
Tell us how we can learn more about how to be a part of this event.
You can find more details and a link to register online* at https://bodyelectric.org/online-shops/celebrating-the-body-erotic-atlanta-2024-1/. Or if you prefer, you can always reach out to me with questions at atlanta@bodyelectric.org.
Anything else you’d like to add?
Just one thing, but it’s a biggie: the school believes this work is important, and we don’t want finances to be a barrier to anyone. If you think this workshop isn’t in your budget, please consider applying for a scholarship. I know from experience that the school is very generous, and the process is discreet. No one will know that you received any assistance. So if a scholarship will make a difference for you, please talk to us. You can reach me at atlanta@bodyelectric.org or apply online at https://bodyelectric.org/scholarships/.
Joy is a frequency that permeates the universe. Joy is the breath of the Divine.
– Eli Andrew Ramer
