Edited by Mikkel Hyldebrandt
By the time January rolls around most of us are already tired of being told to reinvent ourselves, tired of performative resolutions, tired of pretending that a green juice and a gym membership are going to fix systemic stress, political anxiety, or heartbreak. For many of us, “New Year, New Me” doesn’t feel empowering—it feels exhausting.
So what if this year’s reset wasn’t about shrinking, grinding, or optimizing? What if it was about recalibrating? Below is an alternative New Year routine—one rooted in queer wisdom, self-trust, and sustainability. Not about becoming someone else, but about living better as who you already are.
1. Audit Your Inputs, Not Your Body
Instead of obsessing over calories or macros, take stock of what you’re consuming emotionally, digitally, and socially. Who gets your attention? What news sources leave you informed versus depleted? Which group chats lift you up—and which quietly drain you?
This kind of audit can change your diet without ever mentioning food. You may notice that when you scroll less doom, you snack less mindlessly. When you protect your mornings from emails and outrage, you make more intentional choices throughout the day. Nourishment isn’t just what’s on your plate—it’s what’s in your head.
2. Redefine Fitness as Capacity, Not Aesthetics
Queer bodies have long been politicized, fetishized, or policed. This year, try defining fitness as what your body can do, not how it looks. Can you carry groceries without pain? Dance for an entire song without getting winded? Have sex without cramping or dissociating?
Fitness becomes more interesting—and compassionate—when it’s about stamina, flexibility, and recovery. Stretching before bed, taking walks to think instead of punish yourself, or practicing breathwork during anxiety spikes all count. Movement should expand your life, not narrow it.
3. Set Sexual Intentions, Not Just Goals
“Have more sex” or “have better sex” are common New Year fantasies, but they’re vague and often pressure-filled. Instead, try setting sexual intentions. Do you want more honesty? More playfulness? Better communication? Less obligation?
This could mean scheduling conversations with partners about desires and boundaries, exploring pleasure without orgasm as the goal, or intentionally taking a break from dating apps to reconnect with your own body. Sexual wellbeing isn’t about quantity—it’s about agency.
4. Practice Strategic Rest
Rest is still radical, especially for queer people who spend so much time explaining, advocating, and surviving. But rest doesn’t just mean collapsing on the couch. Strategic rest is about knowing when and how to pause so you don’t burn out.
This might look like building recovery days into social plans, saying no without overexplaining, or treating sleep as non-negotiable rather than optional. Rest is not a reward for productivity; it’s a prerequisite for being present in your own life.
5. Build One Micro-Ritual That Grounds You
Forget massive overhauls. Choose one small ritual that you can return to when everything feels chaotic. Morning journaling. Lighting a candle before dinner. A weekly solo date. A five-minute body check-in before bed.
These rituals become anchors. They remind you that you belong to yourself first, no matter what the world demands. Over time, they quietly improve mental health, digestion, intimacy, and focus—not because they’re trendy, but because they’re consistent.
6. Invest in Queer Connection Over Self-Improvement
Self-improvement culture often isolates us, framing growth as a solo project. But queer thriving has always been communal. Instead of asking, “How can I fix myself?” try asking, “Who do I want to grow alongside?”
Join a club, volunteer, host a dinner, show up to community events—even when you don’t feel perfectly ready. Belonging regulates the nervous system more effectively than any wellness hack ever could.
As Queerly Beloved, we know that becoming “new” isn’t the goal. Becoming truer, softer, stronger, and more sustainable is. This year, let your resolutions be less about reinvention and more about reverence – for your body, your desires, your limits, and your community. You are not behind. You are already becoming.