By Jamie Kirk
I have managed to come up with the perfect little “one size fits all” message for this upcoming holiday called Valentine’s Day. I am actually shocked I was able to get this message across without having to write three separate articles, with three separate messages. I figure, let’s just get this outta the way quick, fast, and in a hurry.
Please Read If…
…You Are in a Relationship
Hang in there. Make this the best relationship you have ever had. Take the lessons you have learned from previous relationships and apply them to this one. Make sure you continually are looking for win/win situations and that you are giving more than you are taking. Remain focused, committed and dedicated to allowing the relationship to take its natural course. Be the one that offers up the apology first. Be the one that forgives first. Be the one that compromises first. Be the one that puts the other person’s needs and wants above your own. Avoid having to be right. Let peace be the umpire. Be kind.
… You Are in Search of a Relationship
Try everything. Cast your net where you least expect it, and there could be fish. Try dating apps, blind dates, being set up by co-workers, try dating outside of what you typically go for. Call the chat lines, use the dating apps, DM folks on Instagram, put yourself out there. Open up to all races, all religions, and guys that are big-boned or guys that need to eat a few extra meals. Be the first to flirt. Send the first XXX picture. Ask a stranger to dinner. Make eye contact at Starbucks. Don’t limit yourself. Take a new route to work. Email an old flame. Recycle an ex. Take a chance on love. What’s the worst that could happen? If it doesn’t work out, and you’re single again, so what?
… You Are Just Getting Over a Relationship
Better to be lonely than unhappy. Losing out on love is hard, but you will live. Allow the tears to only flow at night. Put on a brave face. Take the time you need to heal before you jump back in the saddle. Create a journal of things you want to address or change in the next relationship. Write down the red flags that you ignored, so that you clearly see them next time. Make time for other interests like reading, learning to play the piano, hiking, etc. Something that YOU enjoy, not something YOU BOTH used to enjoy. Re-create the life you want. When you are ready to date again, you will know it. Sometimes a new love will sneak in a door, you didn’t even realize you had left open. Be patient and take all the time you need to get back to your “old self” should that be someone you want to reconnect with.
You Are Bitter Betty About Relationships
Who cares, Valentine’s Day is just a day created by Hallmark and the restaurant industry to get you to spend money, you don’t have, on someone you don’t really even like for a day/night that goes away in a twinkling of an eye. Life is way too short to be committed to one person and allow one person (who is probably not even being faithful and honest with you) to have control points in your life. Just ignore this dumb day. Make sure that all your friends that are coupled pay for drinks this weekend because they are idiots and should come out of pocket for you since they did it for someone they met six days ago. Screw it, this day comes and goes. Take yourself out to eat, but make sure to eat the dessert first!!
The One Message that Fits All
Hopefully one of these buckets fits your scenario. There are so many more, but not enough room on the page. Bottom line, DO YOU. Whatever your situation is or is not, make the best of it. Don’t allow anyone else motives or ideas on how this “day” should be spent or not spent. Make sure that whatever you decide to do, however you decide to acknowledge it or celebrate it, the end result is that you did what you wanted too, not what someone else has guilted you into doing. As we mature and get wiser with age, we have to come to realize that life is hard enough to be spent unhappy. Make the best of this day and every day.
Jamie Kirk works for a software company and is a certified spinning instructor. He also enjoys yoga, swimming, bicycling and running. He aspires to start a blog about what we put in our bodies not only fuels our body but our mind and spirit as well. Follow Jamie on IG @tysonsdad.