Stop Apologizing If You Meant It

By Jamie King


One thing that really grinds my gears is when people apologize for behavior or an action that they meant to say or do. Whether it is on social media, on TV, or in the privacy of our own homes, etc., the “I am sincerely sorry” kickoff of the sentence makes me roll my eyes. We have become a society of political rightness. If a decision or approach is not widely acceptable or popular, we can sometimes feel forced to apologize. The issue I have is that this can compromise the essence of what we want. Apologizing because you had a live microphone or because you got caught in the act, is not really apologizing. Yes, apologizing for being caught, not that your behavior will change. We have got to get over all this apologizing because it is what we should do, and walk in our own truth (despite that truth being universally un-cool with others).


There are some specific topics were I just don’t believe apologizing is appropriate if you don’t mean it. Sex with a stranger for one.  Who cares. If you are single, and no one is getting hurt, why not meet some random person on a sex app and do the nasty? Why would you need to apologize to someone or others because you had, and even liked, sex with a stranger? The good news is that you can do this and not tell anyone, and you don’t have to apologize for your behavior.  As long as you and the other person are both honest, it’s all good.


Another topic that you don’t have to apologize for is your position on monogamy. If you only want to date casually, who cares. If you don’t want the responsibility and accountability that comes with being in a full-blown relationship, you don’t have to do that. If you want to avoid the back and forth of paying for restaurants and movies, and only want to have company after 10:00 p.m. on Friday until Saturday at 10:00 a.m., that is your decision; and you should not feel like you have to back pedal and defend your decision of not wanting to be in a relationship. Relationships take work every day, and that can be draining and miserable if you are not up for the investment, which may or may not pay off.


One more (and I swear I’ll stop) is your position on having an amazing body. You don’t need to announce to the world “this is my cheat day” at a restaurant. Who cares? If you want to eat dessert first, do that. If you’re going to skip the gym in favor of binge-watching a Hulu show, do it. You don’t have to apologize or make an excuse for things you want to do to people that don’t really even matter.  All our souls want from our bodies is to be housed in a safe and healthy shell. You simply don’t have to apologize for a few poor decisions along the way of meeting your goal of becoming a cover model for Men’s Muscle & Fitness.


Focusing again on this time of year when many folks are thinking of coupling, snuggling with someone while the weather is nippy out or perhaps looking for that special someone to take vacations with this summer, it is imperative that we do it with a free conscience. It is important to be 100% clear about our intentions with others and ourselves.  If the decision is to participate in an open relationship, no relationship, maintain our dad bod, bulking, having random, yet consensual sex, who cares? It is more important to be authentic in your intentions than to apologize and back pedal regarding things you truly want and desire.

Jamie Kirk works for a software company and is a certified spinning instructor. He also enjoys yoga, swimming, bicycling and running. He aspires to start a blog about what we put in our bodies not only fuels our body but our mind and spirit as well. Follow Jamie on IG @tysonsdad.


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