Dear Peach

Peach Magazine's weekly advice column.

I recently worked with a friend who was very loud and boisterous which I loved, however I feel like there is a time and a place for everything. How should I help my friend understand that there is a difference between being authentically themselves and being too much ALL THE TIME?

You might have to let your friend find out for themselves. I have always tried to give advice to folks but once I realize that they don’t want to hear it then I make sure that I take a step back and let them realize it for themselves. You can only help people who don’t want your help so much. Because folks dont want to hear that they are being “extra” they will immediately shut off. So if you are in a setting where they are supposed to be more professional and you cannot seem to get through to them, you will start to notice that they become frustrated with everyone around them. You cannot continue to allow folks to drain your energy when you are trying to help them become a better version of themselves. Oftentimes people also don’t realize that you have authentically good intentions in trying to help them, and feel as though you are attacking them. If they are truly your friend then they will know otherwise, but if not… then they might retaliate. Work through it and hope for the best. Best of luck to you!