Q
I have come to the conclusion that I have the best sex with total strangers. Quick hookups, even with no names exchanged, get me off like crazy, while sex with someone I am into is never that exciting and fizzles out quickly. Will I forever be single and have fantastic sex, or will I be in a relationship where the sex is just meh? Help!
A
There is nothing wrong with having sex with strangers. The thrill of it all is part of why a new partner is exciting, and it is the perfect opportunity to let inhibitions go and really savor the sexy moment. But sex with a stranger can be problematic if it means that you can’t really connect with people on an intimate level–you know, once the actual sex is over. If great sex is only extended to people you can’t connect with on an emotional and intimate level, I understand why you are worried. Have you asked yourself what you feel when you have sex with someone you actually care about? Is it anxiety, vulnerability, loss of control? Is there a root cause as to why you have trouble breaking that intimate barrier? Is it a past breakup or an episode that is still taking an emotional toll on you? Once you start digging into what is messing with your internal life, you may be able to move past the issues you have with intimacy for someone you care about. This also seems like a bit of a handful, so may I suggest you talk to a therapist about these things? That’s the hookup I would recommend you do next.
