Edited by Mikkel Hyldebrandt
Valentine’s Day often comes wrapped in a glossy, heteronormative package—candlelit dinners, pink and red everything, and a narrow view of romance that doesn’t always reflect the beautiful diversity of love in the LGBTQ+ community. But love, in all its forms, is something worth celebrating. For many queer individuals and couples, Valentine’s Day isn’t about fitting into a mold; it’s about reclaiming the holiday to affirm relationships, chosen families, and the unique ways we express love.
So, instead of subscribing to the traditional script, why not flip the script entirely? Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, single and thriving, or surrounded by an incredible circle of friends, here are some unconventional ways to make this Valentine’s Day extra special.
Celebrate Your Chosen Family
Love isn’t limited to romantic partnerships. Many in the LGBTQ+ community know the deep importance of chosen family—those friends and loved ones who have been there through thick and thin. Valentine’s Day can be the perfect opportunity to honor those relationships. Host a “Galentine’s” or “Palentine’s” party, complete with love letters to your closest friends, a themed movie night (think “To Wong Foo” or “The Birdcage”), or a potluck dinner where everyone brings their favorite comfort food.
If distance is an issue, set up a virtual get-together with friends across the country. A trivia night, a heartfelt toast, or even a collective playlist where everyone contributes songs that remind them of each other can turn February 14th into a celebration of platonic love and community.
Embrace Adventure Over Tradition
Forget the sit-down dinner at a fancy restaurant—shake things up with an adventure instead! Whether that means going on a spontaneous road trip, renting a cabin for the night, or planning a scavenger hunt across the city, making memories beats waiting for a reservation. For those who love the outdoors, a Valentine’s hike followed by a picnic (complete with champagne, of course) can be a refreshing and romantic alternative.
If you’re feeling particularly daring, consider trying something completely new together: take a dance class, visit an LGBTQ+ history museum, or even get matching tattoos (if that’s your vibe). The key is to make the day about shared experiences rather than expected rituals.
Write Love Letters—But Make Them Personal
Love letters aren’t just for 19th-century poets or Nicholas Sparks movies—they’re a deeply personal and touching way to express how much someone means to you. But instead of a standard “I love you,” try writing about the little things: the way your partner laughs at their own jokes, how they instinctively reach for your hand in a crowded room, or the way your best friend always knows exactly what to say when you need a pick-me-up.
If writing isn’t your thing, think outside the box. Record a voice memo listing your favorite memories together, create a scrapbook of your best moments, or even make a short video montage. It’s these small, personal gestures that turn Valentine’s Day from commercialized fluff into something genuinely meaningful.
Support LGBTQ+ Businesses and Artists
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about mass-produced gifts. This year, consider supporting LGBTQ+ businesses, artists, and creators when choosing a present. Whether it’s handmade jewelry from a queer-owned Etsy shop, a book by an LGBTQ+ author, or artwork from a local queer artist, putting your money into the community makes the celebration even sweeter.
For an extra thoughtful touch, why not commission a custom piece of art, a poem, or a song for your partner or best friend? Personalized gifts have a way of making someone feel truly seen and appreciated.
Give Back to the Community
One of the most powerful ways to celebrate love is by spreading it. Valentine’s Day can be a perfect opportunity to give back to the community, whether through volunteering at an LGBTQ+ shelter, donating to an organization that supports queer youth, or writing affirming messages to members of the community who may be struggling. Love is about lifting each other up, and there’s no better way to do that than by showing kindness and support to those who need it most.
For those who want to get hands-on, consider organizing a donation drive, attending a benefit event, or simply reaching out to a local LGBTQ+ center to see how you can help. Love isn’t just a feeling—it’s an action.
Redefine Romance on Your Terms
Ultimately, the best way to make Valentine’s Day special is to celebrate love on your own terms. That could mean staying in with your partner for a self-care night, filled with face masks, wine, and a queer-themed movie marathon. It might mean cooking a meal together, going to a drag show, or simply unplugging from social media to focus on quality time.
For those who are single, take the day to love yourself unapologetically. Treat yourself to a spa day, buy yourself flowers, or write yourself a letter about all the things you love about who you are. Valentine’s Day doesn’t belong exclusively to couples—it belongs to anyone who values love in all its forms.
Love, Without Limits
Valentine’s Day is what we make of it. For the LGBTQ+ community, it’s an opportunity to celebrate love in all its vibrant, unique, and powerful forms—whether romantic, platonic, or self-directed. By rejecting rigid traditions and embracing what truly matters, we can turn the holiday into something that reflects the joy, resilience, and beauty of queer love.
So, this year, forget the rules. Love fiercely, celebrate boldly, and make Valentine’s Day your own.
