By Branden Lee
One benefit of my days being consumed with 12+ hour days of work is there’s very little time to obsess over boys. I do still occupy my time perusing dating apps during my breaks, but I don’t have time to meet up with anyone since, by the time I’m done work and going to the gym, it’s time to go to bed and repeat the cycle. As much as I want to love and to be cuffed, I know that I can’t force it. I have no control over worthy guys entering my life at the right time. So I just have to keep living my life. The guy for me will come when the timing is right, but until then I just need to enjoy my singledom.
I am a bit optimistic and constantly hoping to find a man. December has proven to be my luckiest month for love in the past. I still have my fingers crossed, but I know I must focus on other things.
My only somewhat consistent lover has been the Warlock. He’s my big beefy lover, that told me he’s a witch. We did bond over our love of shows like American Horror Story: Apocalypse and Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I see why he liked those shows since apparently, he’s dabbled in the occult.
I enjoy my times with my Warlock. We do a lot of cuddling, bonding, and it’s not all about sex. It’s kind of like having a boyfriend, just without the commitment or drama. I don’t foresee us going down the boyfriend route, and I don’t think he’s developed feelings for me. So I think we both are just enjoying each other’s company until something else develops.
I have been talking to other guys, but I keep falling for the same guys over and over. Which happen to be social media frauds that are bums. Seems like the more Instagram followers a guy has, the less he has going for him in real life. My ex had 70K followers and had no house, job, phone, car, or bank account. The more followers he has, the more of a bum he is, it seems.
I have no desire to take care of a man. I’ve been a spoiled brat my entire life, so I’m used to being the one that is taken care of. So, I’m perplexed why I keep attracting guys that expect to be taken care of. I did discover when I was in a relationship I can turn into a dutiful “wife” type, but I need a man that’s contributing something to the relationship. Life is full of ups and downs, so I’m there to support my partner during his downs. I have no tolerance for these guys that are presenting themselves as one way online, but things are a completely false representation of the real them.
Atlanta may be the capital of the south, but the gay world is super small. The black gay world is even smaller. Everyone knows everyone. We’re all separated by two degrees of separation. If you haven’t hooked up with a guy or know him from online, your friend has. It’s a sad, and terrifying truth, and also probably why the HIV/STI rates are so high.
I’m just going to focus on myself. I want to enjoy having a safe and fulfilling sex life and enjoying singledom until the right man comes along. I’m going to focus on making money, and planning vacations. If I can’t find a man in Atlanta, maybe I’ll find one in another city. Everything I want will eventually come, I just can’t force it.