New Gay in Town: North vs South Dating

By Branden Lee



I’ve lived in Atlanta nine months now, and I’m still getting accustomed to the differences between southern and northern men. I spent the first 26 years of my life living in the northeast, so this 27th year in Atlanta has definitely been a learning experience. Southern men are definitely interesting creatures.


I have been lucky in the sense that as soon as I moved to Atlanta, I started seeing a guy, then got a boyfriend one month into moving here. I never found a boyfriend or dated anyone that consistently in my years in Boston or Philadelphia. So in my experience, the men in Atlanta are more likely to want to enter a relationship.


Granted the first guy I was seeing dumped me for his ex. Then my relationship with my boyfriend of 6 months was a toxic, dysfunctional, unhealthy situation. So is it better to have never had a boyfriend at all in the north, or have toxic relationships in the south?


Dating definitely felt easier in the north, even though it never lead to a boyfriend. I still met tons of guys and went on many dates. In Atlanta, it seems difficult to get a date. I’ve been single two months, and maybe had 3-4 actual dates. Granted, I did need time to heal from my past relationship, but I used to go on 3-4 dates a week in Boston. Philly was a dead zone for me, but men there aren’t that attractive or appealing. Atlanta does have more attractive and appealing men than Philadelphia, but Boston still remains my favorite hunting ground.


In Atlanta, I’m constantly getting hit up for sex, but it’s rare a guy wants to actually go on a date. Then when a guy does seem interested in a date, he always wants to talk on the phone first. I don’t understand wanting to talk on the phone before going on a date. The point of a first date is to talk, face to face. Get to know each other, interact, see what each other really looks like, observe mannerisms. If we waste all your first date convo on the phone, then are we just going to repeat it all on the date?


Talking on the phone is a waste of time to me, and very immature. Like I’m an adult and been online dating since I was 20. Needing to talk on the phone before meeting is extremely juvenile to me, and a huge turn-off. Atlanta men are notorious liars, so I guess it makes sense many here need to make sure they aren’t being catfished so they want to talk on the phone first or FaceTime to make sure they aren’t being catfished.


Speaking of liars, the amount guys lie in Atlanta is astounding. I’ve had guys lie about wanting to date me only for them to get back with their ex. I’ve had guys lie and hide their social media from me. I’ve had guys lie about the number of kids/baby mamas they have. I’ve had guys lie about being out of the closet. Granted men lie everywhere.


In the north, I’ve had guys lie about their age, height, weight, dick size, though most of that is quickly disproven as soon as we meet and the truth comes out. Atlanta men will keep the lie going for as long as possible. You can be seeing a guy for months until you find out the truth. I hate liars and try to live my life with as much transparency as possible. So having to constantly deal with guys that can’t live their truth is extremely frustrating, but just another aspect of life in Atlanta.


Another difference between northern and southern men I’ve noticed is that it’s rare for me to meet guys with college degrees in Atlanta. Thankfully I’m not a snob that refuses to date anyone without a degree. College is expensive, and not everyone can afford it. Though most guys I ever dated/hooked up with in the north did have a degree. I’ve seemingly met more guys with mugshots than degrees since I’ve moved to Atlanta.


Despite the negatives, Atlanta is home, and I like it here.


Branden Lee is a screenwriter and actor living in Atlanta. Follow Branden on Instagram and Twitter @Brandeness. Watch Branden on his YouTube channel SexxxPerTease.


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