WOODY MILLER | 5.14.2008
I'm a gay black male with a strong attraction to white guys. My black friends are pissed off about it, and at one point they angrily called me a "Snow Queen." But the reverse doesn’t seem to be true. My white friends don’t seem to have a problem with it.
Am I crazy or does it seem like it's more socially acceptable for white guys to be into black guys than the other way around?
— BLACK ON WHITE
Basically, you’re asking me who’s more racist — African-Americans or whites? The answer is YES.
A lot of people on both sides of the aisle are uncomfortable seeing black and white together unless it’s on a cow. The next time somebody attacks you, ask them three questions:
When did you get to vote about which gender you’re attracted to? Because I seemed to have misplaced my ballot.
When did you get to vote about which race you’re attracted to? I must’ve made a crossover vote without knowing it.
When did you get to vote about which individual within that race and gender you’re attracted to? I must’ve forgot to register with the election board.
The truth is, we have very little control over who and what we like. You can either fight your nature or embrace it. It’s really a simple, black and white issue.
I’m 19 and not completely out, well at least not to my parents. In fact, I still live with them. I want to move out ASAP. Recently I have fallen for someone that I met online. He’s older — in his upper 20s, but that doesn’t bother me.
He vows to love and take care of me. I would not even have to work. He lives in a beautiful home and would address my every need. The problem is that I’ve only known him for a month and he lives states away. But he told me he loved me and I’ve never felt this way about a guy.
Should I abandon everything here and be with my first love?
— INDECISION ‘08
Should you move? Let’s figure it out mathematically:
You’ve known him for a month + You barely know his last name + You’ll be completely dependent on a virtual stranger = You’re fucked.
What you’re about to do is the equivalent of putting all your money in one stock and hoping it’s not Enron. What happens if you move and it doesn’t work out? You’ll be under the control of someone you hardly know, with no money, no job, no friends, and no options except to beg him or your family for the money to come home.
And what’s that bullshit about him “taking care of your every need” and not even having to get a job? Listen, Gold Digger-in-Training, if you want to go through life being somebody’s bitch, that’s your choice. I guess you can always make a living teaching other people how to be a doormat, but if that’s not how you want to roll, do this:
Date but don’t move. Give it another six months. If he’s that rich and you’re that jobless, he can fly you in every weekend. The point is to look before you leap. And right now, that look ain’t pullin’.
Get into fights. I’m not saying pick one; I’m saying wait for one. Conflict reveals character.
Get a job. I’m all for nipple-play but not with titty-babies. You’ve gone from your mother’s breast to your boyfriend’s dick. Time to put that suction strength onto something that’ll make you independent.
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