MIKE FLEMING
| 12.31.2008
 
I LOVE MY JOB. Sure, it’s been a tough economic year, and there is always a certain amount of bullshit everyone who works anywhere has to endure.
But at David, I get to apply my skills and experience — and give my time — to my own community. I work for a publication that lets writers tell it how we see it, and best of all, we get to chat up more gay men each week than you may see in a month. It’s fun, and it’s a privilege.
And hey, one of my job requirements is to look at photos of hot guys. Nice work if you can get it, and this week was overload as we prepared our 2008: Year in Men issue. Click here to get started, and be sure to check our web extras for the guys we couldn’t squeeze into the print edition.
BUT YOU MAY BE surprised to hear that working in a “gay office” is often like every other workplace. We have politics, hierarchies, interpersonal squabbles, stress, rules, and just plain hard work.
New employees sometimes walk into their first day and act like it’s a night at the bar — “I’m surrounded by gay people; I can be me!”
No, you can be gay, but you still have to put that nose to the grindstone.
But it would be crazy not to say that there are distinct differences in a gay-operated business. There are drawbacks to being surrounded by other gay people every day, but there are also some big rewards — and big laughs.
This year, I wrote down random bits of conversations I overheard. As a New Year’s treat, here are my co-workers, in their own words, proving that certain remarks just won’t come up at, say, a Fortune 500 company.
Disclaimer: Statements made are wholly the opinions of the former or existing employees quoted. Neither myself, the magazine nor parent company, endorses comments repeated here.
I’m just saying that I laughed.
“The more I twirl, the worse it gets!”
“He can’t get somebody like that. Maybe a big girl, but not these lil’ chickens he’s chasing around the farm.”
“Well, he’s in the process of trying to convince himself that everything was perfect and that they belonged together. I’m like, Jesus, no, child. NO NO NO. Wrong from the beginning, wrong to the end.”
“Apparently in hair, down is the new up.”
“Dating happens in threes. Three minutes, and you know if you’re interested. Three dates, and you know if it’s going anywhere. Three months, and it’s over.”
“Margaret Cho could do a whole standup act about the hyperventilation that went down when my mother told me that I if I pissed her off one more time, she was gonna make me quit chorus.”
“Geeks are more grateful.”
“Honey, it may be in, but he should not be in it.”
“I was a little disappointed in Taylor Dayne as a person.”
PERSON 1: “Do we have readers who would like that?”
PERSON 2: “Baby, there are guys who are like, ‘Until my rosebud is on Xtube, I’m angry.’”
“A girl of 40 will never look 30 by dressing like 20.”
“That’s all pubes and no substance.”
“Thursday must have been Cyborg Retro Flock of Seagulls Drag Night”
“I only use lesbian hair products: water.”
“That man could turn anyone into a bottom.”
“Some stylist or somebody on that show needs to get serious and run a color wash through that shit, get her all light brown with highlights and stuff, soften her before it’s too late.”
“I swear to God! These days, anyone with an iPod filled with shitty music is a DJ.”
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